Most Likely To Write About Boring Things

The happiest painting in the world

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 21:28:08 GMT

The happiest painting in the world
Originally uploaded by mikekrankota

I rarely post on this anymore, but this seemed worth sharing. Painted it yesterday.

Cracked me up.

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 20:58:14 GMT

Found on graphicdesign

Terrifying and wonderful, all at once.

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 14:45:27 GMT

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 19:45:07 GMT

These are the most adorable kids I have ever seen.

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 18:17:08 GMT

Seriously. I want to hug them.

to brighten yr day

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 06:03:37 GMT

because it's awesome.

Hackley School Smells Like Teen Spirit

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 16:22:41 GMT

Oh, dear.

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 06:13:58 GMT

Masons are weird.

Seriously. Whoa.

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 07:11:17 GMT

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 16:47:09 GMT

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 16:46:35 GMT

we're happy to have you as a member of our team, Mr. Badorties.

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 20:19:58 GMT

HA!

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 21:53:27 GMT

That is the best button EVER.

From the spam file...

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 15:05:52 GMT

From: "Wendell B. Cooper"
Subject: Of maniacal or maniacal

There's no arguing with the barrel of a gun. Don't shut the barn door after the horses have left.

[ad for "CHEAP V1AGRA".]

Analysis: Um...creepy. No arguing with the barrel of a gun, indeed.

Well, turn it up, man.

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 18:13:19 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKDk-mg1J9Q

Dear The Internet,

Thanks, man.

XOXO

Mike

Sorry...that video wouldn't allow me to embed it. BAH.

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:53:43 GMT

First: http://plasticsurgery4u.com/. This was posted to graphicdesign as a response to a topic about the worst logos you've seen. The obvious question was indeed posed.

Second: Someone I work with emailed me a photo of the DVD box art for the Gwneth Paltrow film Sliding Doors as an example of how they wanted to represent two incredibly different concepts on the same page for a piece I'm working on here. I was without word. Not that it's poorly designed, and it ended up being a pretty good jumping-of point for me to hammer through something that looked great without too much flack from anyone, but still...random.

Third: Back to that worst logo ever thing. The Sherwin-Williams logo is what started it:

Dude...that thing is AWESOME. COVER THE EARTH in affordably-priced latex paint. I can't believe that not only would someone suggest otherwise, but that people would nearly unanimously agree with said assessment.

Nobody has any taste anymore.

Briefly...

Tue, 09 May 2006 19:56:55 GMT

I have found that now that I seem to have 'hit my stride' as a print designer, I am no longer able to design a particularly compelling website. I envision it as both web and print design skills are fighting for the same corner of my mind, and as one gets stronger the other is unable to get a foothold until the stronger skill is relaxed and unused.

I don't really mind too much - the era of the web designer is likely coming to an end fairly soon. Web developers (read: the actual smart people who program websites to do cool things) will always have a job. But web design has gone so far over into extremes...either extreme clunky Amazon/Google/Yahoo/etc. utilitarianism, or bloated Flash-animated, Photoshop-filter heavy "artsiness."

But it still gets on my nerves that I'm evidently incapable of having both of these skills simultaneously. Seems like some sort of personal failure on my part.

Also: my equilibrium has seemed slightly off-center for 2 days now. Yesterday, I nearly fell over while changing my shirt. Today, I walked down the hall, nearly into a wall. I just don't get it. WEIRD.

Public service announcement

Fri, 05 May 2006 05:16:41 GMT

OK...if any of you use any P2P software that runs on the Gnutella network (Gnutella, BearShare, EMule, etc.), you might want to consider not using it for a while. Newish virus: "Win32/Polipos." Especially insidious, because it sneaks in through the P2P network, then targets your antivirus and fucks with it just enough that it's not detected and killed immediately. It can make it through most, if not all, major antivirus software this way. I came home from work today to find that (a) my downloads had all finished, and I had some new things that were lovely, and (b) My computer had restarted. I was like, "ok, no prob," then logged in.

FUCK.

Got a nice little "sorry, you're infected with polipos" message. Started my antivirus scanning, then tried to open up Firefox to research how to fix it. No dice. Internet Explorer? Nope.

Basically, this virus infects only .exe files, and only really fairly important ones. I had infections in 38 program files, including IE, Firefox, Dreamweaver, Photoshop, Acrobat...pretty much EVERYTHING I USE. Went over to Alison's computer and checked it all out, and found out what to do, after trying about 5 other methods that failed miserably. This method takes a while, but is, to my knowledge, the only way to sort your machine out without drive wiping and reinstalling everything. So, if you get screwed and stuck with this nasty-ass virus, here's how to fix it:

Bit Defender has a free removal tool. Grab it now if you use filesharing stuff. Maybe you'll never need it, but if you get infected, you'll be glad you have it. This app is self-contained, and cleans any running processes of the polipos virus. Without this, you'll be cleaning files for DAYS, because the virus will be running in the processes andinfecting other files. It would suck a lot.

Make sure your antivirus is updated. I use AVG, which is free, updated constantly, and pretty kick-ass. Run a total system scan and quarantine the infected files. (You won't be able to clean them...at least not until one of the antivirus companies figures out a good method).

Files are quarantined. Now, load up Dr. Web Cure It. Also free, also invaluable.

Move your files, one by one, back from quarantine to their original location. In AVG, you have the option to "Restore File As." Do that, rename the file from .exe to .zip (Like, Firefox.exe -> Firefox.zip)

Once you're done with all the files, run Dr. Web. It will find the Polipos infected zip files (which won't be able to propagate through the .zip files - it only moves through .exes) and give you he option to "Cure" them. Tell it to do so.

Go back through, and rename all these files back to .exe, and you'll be all set.

Learn from my mistake. I spent about 5 hours this evening fixing everything, and then IMMEDIATELY deleted eMule. Bit Torrent only until AVG figures out a way to kill Polipos before it gets in.

That is all.

Wed, 03 May 2006 18:35:30 GMT

Today has been AWESOME. The reasons, in bulleted form:

I am now officially AHEAD OF SCHEDULE on all my projects. Even the ones I was behind on that I was freaking out about Monday.

I have been on 2 Starbucks runs and drank 2 quad macchiatos in the last 3 hours. As a result, I'm pretty sure I can see time.

I got feedback on this really awesome 'menu of services' thing I did to show off what the Marketing dept. does. I was worried about it, because it got all conceptual and cool and there were no graphics and it was all just neat typography tricks and all that. So naturally, I assumed that my boss would look at it and be like, "uh...no." Instead, here is the email:
"Wow! This is truly great work. I'm very pleased with this. I have a couple of minor content edits: you forgot a couple of trademarks and registration marks, but nothing other than that.
Thanks!"
That always makes you feel nice.

Also, I may leave work early today. Because I'm all caught up. And awesome. Yeah.

This is why I'm always stressed out.

Tue, 02 May 2006 16:18:20 GMT

OK, I managed to go ahead and get my 6 pages done yesterday. I'm still within reasonable limits for being able to meet all deadlines.

Today, I have to finish a brochure, revise another one, get some huge-ass signs mocked up for booth graphics, and try not to murder C.(2) who has sent me no less than 8 emails today asking me increasingly inane questions about whatever ridiculous thing she's making in Publisher because I have informed everyone in no uncertain terms that they can feel free to make their own internal flyers and whatnot, and that my time is better spent on other things.

Also, I have forgotten my headphones, on a day that I specifically need to have music drowning everyone out.

I hate everyone less today - I think that the REALLY nasty part of the 'Mike just quit smoking' storm may have passed? I can't remember how it went last time I tried to quit.

I've been writing this entry off and on for the last hour. In that hour, I have finished the first brochure, and I am half done with the sign mockups.

I am a mechanized rock star: precise and awesome.

Designer life is SO glamorous.

Tue, 02 May 2006 13:27:32 GMT

To recap (posted this yesterday on the MySpace, but have quickly realized I dislike MySpace.)

Today is the first day of becoming a non-smoker. It's highly difficult. I am displeased thus far with the results. I have noticed neither the ability to run faster or farther than I could before, nor have I seen an increase (or decrease, for that matter) in my social status, desirability or anything like that.

I know that there's never a super awesome time to quit smoking; no chance that there's ever going to be a perfectly no-stress environment. Even if there were, I'm imagining I'd be so bored that all I could think about would be smoking. Bah.

Of course, today had to go ahead and completely break my spirit. Why not? I'm already on the ropes.

I have deadlines. Lots of deadlines. Big trade show/conference type thing at the end of May. I'm doing most of the promotional materials, as well as brochures, signage...pretty much anything printed that is supposed to look pretty at this thing.

My workplace is in the financial industry. These are not designers. These are not 'creatives' in any sense of the word. I work with people who not only can tell you the relative benefit of a Simple IRA v. a Roth, but they have major opinions on the matter. You might think this would afford me a certain level of creative freedom; if they don't know anything about the process or visuals or branding or anything, clearly I would have all the freedom in the world.

FOOL! You have forgotten rule #1 of the graphic design industry: the less a client knows about things, the more they will have opinions about every step of the process.

I don't work within a design department, either. I work in a marketing department. It's totally fun in some ways: I'm the only guy in the area, and I've pretty much positioned myself as 'one of the girls' in many ways. I get all the office gossip. I get invites to lunches. I have gained reknown for my ability to talk shit about peoples' taste in clothing. At the same time, I get major 'boy points' and have all sorts of weird perks. My boss is incredibly informal with me, and she seems to treat me more as a peer than an employee. Contrast with the way the other women that directly report to her are treated: as underlings. I'm not honestly sure what that's all about, but I don't feel any resentment from anyone, so I'm not going to pretend that I'm too noble and principled to take advantage of that.

Today, though...sheesh.

So I'm trying to get some drafts finished on a pretty hot project. Like...I'm supposed to be finished with this thing last Friday. OK, cool. Time to just go into lockdown mode. I have to mock up 6 pages by noon, or I'm so fucked behind schedule, I'll never make the printing deadline.

Well, of COURSE that would be the perfect time for L. and K. to get involved in a big uninformed debate about immigration. L. started out just asking a fairly reasonable question, but then K. had to answer in that snarky way that gets under L's skin. So, she retailiates with some retarded bullshit about entitlement and whatnot...I tuned them out. But still...totally ruins your work environment.

Shit. No problem. I'm a soldier. I can tune this nonsense out, even when J. gets involved and increases the volume of the debate by about 18.

I can even tune it out when C. starts firing me emails about some web work that she wants me to sort out. I'm not too worried about that - it's all pretty basic webmonkey work.

I damn near managed to keep it together when the new girl over in one of the sales areas across the aisle from me starts into her saga that, over the course of the next 4 hours, I will piece together from overhearing and then actively listening to her phone conversations. It seems she got absolutely shredded drunk last night and somehow ended up getting her car impounded. Which, y'know...hee! There's this whole story involved...possibly another post if I get motivated enough for it.

Anyway...nearly managed to block all this shit out and go ahead and crank out the 6 pages I need to get sussed out before noon.

Goddamn network goes out.

I have most of my source files saved to a mapped network drive.

And I have quit smoking today.

Argh.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 06:24:01 GMT

I'm fucking tired of websites. This is what I've been working on this weekend:

Hemline Productions (Again, only sort of complete. Still awaiting content from the client)
Crystal Cave Consulting (Why will no one give me the content to put on these things??)

Dear everyone in the world:

If you want me to do any website things for you in the next week or so, kindly fuck off and die.

Love, Mike

I'm going to go hug a tree or whittle something now. Tired of computer.

Indeed.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 21:35:49 GMT

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 15:59:39 GMT

Cascaid Results

The Cascaid Form has studied your responses, and calculated that you are best suited to the following careers:

Webmaster

Malevolent Cobbler

Lead Singer of Huey Lewis and the News

And here's the link.

Brief update of the last week or so

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 15:07:18 GMT

Highlights

Double my hours and pay at work now. I will now be making in the $7-800 range EVERY WEEK. I am terrified by this knowledge, and sure I will drunkenly buy something retarded.

STILL haven't been able to find a printshop in Dallas that wants to scan the Fashion Thing pages without charging me one million billion dollars. I may end up painstakingly scanning it myself, bit by bit.

Not actually true. I will suck it up and pay out the nose. Probably this afternoon.

Ali has a part-time job to keep her busy and happy while she looks for fancy lawyerin' work. I'm sure she will have more to say on the subject.

IKEA in Dallas! Is open! And we have been to it! Yesterday! It's everything I hoped it would be. Actually cooler than the Houston one, which, WTF? How is that possible?

Sky High: see it. Lovely film. And the kid who stars creeped me out a little because I think Disney actually did clone Shia Lebouf.

That is all. Go about your day.